Ron: I’m Ron Swanson and you’re Leslie f***ing knope
Ron: I don’t have materials for s’mores
Leslie: yes you do, I always keep emergency s’more rations in my car
Ron:what are you doing here?
Leslie:running away from my problems
Ron: come on in
Ron: my first ex-wife’s name is tammy, My second ex-wife is named tammy. My moms name is tamara… she goes by tammy.
Leslie: most of these aren’t even receipts, like this one says “I bought supplies 2007.”
Leslie: you could go to jail, Jail Ron. Ron, jail, jail, Ron, jail. You could go to jail. Jail. Jail. Jail. Jail.
Ron: are you broken?
Ron: Anne was getting to be a little too chummy, When people get a little to chummy with me I like to call them by their wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.
April: thats a rally nice move.
Ron: thank you
April: you’re welcome lester.
Leslie: I’ve taught them too well. I’ve created a whole mob of Leslie Knope monsters. I’m so proud.
Leslie: Tom, come over here and talk about how great I am.
Ron: No home is complete without the proper toolbox. Here’s April and Andy’s; A hammer, a half eaten pretzel, a baseball card, some cartridge that says sonic and hedgehog, a scissor half, and a flashlight filled with jelly beans.
April: we have a thousand dollars in our bank account and we’re young and irresponsible
Ben: are you gonna murder me and bury me at this gas station?
Ron:she’s here.
Leslie: who’s here?
Ron: Tammy 2. I can smell the sulfur coming off her cloven hooves.
Leslie: ann, I need you to text me every 30 seconds that everything will be okay
Ann:okay!
Leslie: (phone rings) Thanks ann!
Leslie: I’ve received adorable nicknames and amazing backrubs.
Leslie: I don’t know what else to say except let’s go win that election.
Leslie: my god diana, will you stop it with the letter writing campain
Donna: so, I made my desk out of silver M&Ms, but they don’t make them in silver M&M’s so I sparay painted them.
Ann: okay, so they are poisonous, so no one eat them
Andy: yeah, duh!
Ann: go throw up.
Andy: I didn’t eat any
Ann: go throw up
Ron: tom, we’re already late. Now be a man and sit on that girl’s lap!
Leslie:it’s true. I no longer have highly trained professional campaign managers. So what? Are most murders committed by highly trained professional assassins?
No, they’re committed by friends and co-workers! That analogy was way better in my head.
April: oh, I don’t know jerry, it’s Sunday night, I’m making phone calls to strangers and you’re in my house. My life couldn’t get any worse.
April: I don’t care about the prize, but I’m gonna win cuz I want his happiness to go away.
April:i wished for his happiness to go away. I must be a wizard.
Leslie: oh ann, you beautiful spinster, I will find you love.
Ron, I hate riddles, and other such nonsense. I want that on the record, but something wicked with a book in my ex-wife’s library.
Leslie: How am I supposed to find the love of ann’s life when it sounds like a funeral in here?
Ben:screw romantic dinners, lets go rub it in their face.
Leslie: God, I love you so much.
Leslie: now if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to endorse 10 beers into my mouth because it has been an incredibly stressful evening.
Leslie: thats the style now Ron, It’s called lollipopping. All the kids are doing it .
Leslie: please let me get in my insult I’’ve been practicing it the whole way over here
Ron: I work hard to make sure my department is as small and as ineffective as possible.
Ha ha these are so funny! :D I LOVE PARKS AND REC!
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